A Modest Proposal… freebasing coffee

Would the government try to make coffee illegal if you made it sound scary?
Check out this video of how to create freebase caffeine.
This Swiftian modest proposal is a fascinating intellectual exercise.

Essentially, his challenge to policymakers is this: criminalize coffee. Naturally, after coffee is criminalized will inevitably come the next food that can be purified, and so oná This is the argument of absurdity (reductio ad absurdum); how ridiculous could we theoretically make policy before policy has become too absurd to take seriously?

In a sane world, the reductio ad absurdum would work. Here, I don’t know. After all, we’ve already seen legislators try to outlaw plastic bags, baking soda, and baggy pants. Policy has already become too absurd to take seriously.
In the meantime, if you’re looking for an alternative to freebasing crack, try Starbucks Italian Roast (although it’s a lot easier just to drink it).