Our next drug czar?

Guess who’s putting his hat in the ring for the job?

I am not naðve enough to believe we can ever fully eradicate drugs. However, as America’s Drug Czar, I would put a big hurt on the drug kingpins and consumers like they have never seen. Every American who smokes dope, manufactures, buys or sells meth or uses any illegal drugs is aiding and abetting the enemies of America. Case closed. This spiritual inbreeding and cannibalism must be identified, admitted to and stopped immediately. America can, and must do this. Good over evil. Next.

That’s right. It’s none other than rock legend and militant conservative Ted Nugent
He says:

I am aware there are prominent conservatives who make strong arguments in favor of legalizing drugs. Their argument is that legalizing drugs will take the crime out of drugs. Not only do I not believe that, but I have never been in favor of pouring gas on a blazing fire in hopes of extinguishing it, which is what I believe will happen if ever we are foolish enough to legalize drug use in America.

Um, no. Actually it’s Nugent who plans to pour gas on a blazing fire by increasing the violence.

What America needs is the will-power and a renewed warrior spirit to crush evil and evil doers.

Of course, it seems unlikely that our President-elect will respond to this kind of request:

Call me, President Obama. Hippies, dope heads, corrupt politicos and various other human debris hate me, which makes me the perfect man for the job.

So, Nugent’s probably not going to the Drug Czar’s office.
But I’d like to take Ted back. Back on a little journey with us hippies and dope heads to a special time in Ted’s life as a rock guitarist. A Journey to the Center of the Mind, if you know what I mean.

Ah, much better.