The exciting new method of scientific analysis called… hearsay

Apparently getting a job as a coroner in the UK requires three things:

1. Ears
2. A creative imagination
3. The ability to talk in nonsensical convoluted sentences.

Cannabis Linked to Man’s Suicide

A CORONER has urged MPs to look into the death of a Doncaster supermarket worker before making any decision on the re-classification of cannabis.
Coroner Stanley Hooper entered the controversy about the reclassification of the drug after hearing how a young man committed suicide while suffering from schizophrenia brought on by cannabis use.
Mr Hooper said politicians should reflect on the case of the 21-year-old Stuart Lester when considering whether to upgrade cannabis to a class B drug.

Well, of course, he’s a Coroner, and he heard it, therefore it is the true proclamation of a Coroner.
And he clinched it with this definitive statement:

“It may be thought that this may not have happened had this young man not used cannabis as a child.”

So, was there any other evidence that would lend scientific support to such a conjecture?

Stuart took a number of Ecstasy tablets before leaving his home in Essex Avenue, Intake, in the early hours of February 26 and used a rope to hang himself from the bridge near Danum School. It was not until after 6am that a passing motorist saw it and alerted police.
Stuart had spent various spells in hospital since becoming schizophrenic but was living at home with his mum and younger brother when he decided to take his own life.

Yep. Sure looks like cannabis was to blame.